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Prompt: Write a letter to the 10-year-old child you had been.

Dearest child,

You are currently in fourth grade, yes? This is the time that you’re having chicken pox. Very annoying, and itchy chicken pox. Oh no, you are warned by your mother not to scratch them, they might end up leaving permanent marks on your skin. But you aren’t listening, are you? You are scratching and scratching until you are satisfied. After the chicken pox left its marks, you are diagnosed with Henoch-Schonlein Purpura. You cannot walk because of enlarged feet and purple spots could be seen on your legs. You are hospitalized and you feel miserable. You are asking why this is happening to you. Two major illnesses in one summer. Well, life is just like that, child. At this point, you are weak and you are insecure. You do not know a lot of things just yet, but trust me, eventually, you will. You cry just because of small things. You do not get everything that you want: toys, clothes, sweet and other unnecessary things. You dress up like a boy. You wear pants and shirts all the time because you think you are so fat and you do not want to look all stupid in a mini skirt. Ah, yes, this is also the time that your parents separated and decided to part ways. Your dad moves out of the house and your mum shouldered all the expenses. She saves money so you and your two siblings can go to school. You like writing stories, I know this is true. I’ve read a lot of those but you never showed them to anyone, not even your parents. Why, child? Why not flaunt your work and show it to the world? Oh, I know, because you are afraid that they might say ugly things about your poems and short stories. You do not like criticism and you are being pulled down when you hear a negative comment about your works. You are very insecure. You know you are not perfect, physically, mentally and emotionally and you know that you wouldn’t be. Even with your young mind, child, you know what you want and you want to show it to them but you are afraid. Afraid of people laughing at you, afraid of what they are going to say.

Well, let me tell you something, child. You are not born to please everybody around you. You aren’t raised to live up to everyone’s expectations and you aren’t breathing right now just to be afraid. You must know that you are unique and you can do whatever you want and however you wish of pursuing your dream. All those past illnesses that you’ve had and the marks that were left on your arms and on your legs are just challenges, to know if you are strong enough. You didn’t listen to your mother when she told you not to scratch, yes? See? You can do whatever you want. You’ve done it once, why not do it again? Why not be ready to tell everyone you know how tough you are and how passionate you can be? You did not get all those toys and other stuff before? Trust me, you will get things that you like soon. Just have faith on your family, on your mum. Hold on to her. Love her and cherish her. She’s all you’ve got and she’s doing her best to give you everything. Don’t give her much of a hard time. She’s got her hands full, at the moment. If there’s one person who you need to follow all your life and whose expectations you should meet, it’s your mum. She’s the only person whom you should trust with all your heart. And if you think you’re ugly today, don’t worry it’s part of growing up. Just think of it this way, before every flower has to bloom into its pretty self, they were once a bud, ugly and small and all-curled-up. You are growing up, child, and you are going to go through different paces of life. Being ugly is one of those paces. You’ll eventually leave this pace and be a beautiful girl. And with your passion in writing, just continue to do so. I believe that you do not need a career in writing, just to be ale to write and express yourself. Just write and write and let people read. Being criticized isn’t always a bad thing, child. There’s also these positive comments that will lighten up your mood and would make you push through. Embrace the positiveness and learn from your mistakes. If one article isn’t good enough then write another. Learn and cope up. Never be afraid. Stand your ground and be firm.

Do you get me, child? All of the things that you are experiencing now, will end up helping you realize how hard reality is and it will help shape you up and make you a tougher, smarter and better person. Trust me, I know. *wink*

Love,

Your 20-year-old self.

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